My Friend Jason’s Best Breakup Advice | Cup of Jo

A number of weeks in the past, my good friend Jason and I went to dinner. We mentioned work gossip and Ted Lasso and whether or not we should always share the rigatoni, after which the dialog turned to breakups. We’ve been pals for 20 years, so we’ve helped one another by means of some heart-wrenching relationship shutdowns. Suddenly, he mentioned one thing profound…

“When someone’s heartbroken, they often want someone with the exact profile as their ex — the same looks, the same sense of humor. When they imagine the future, they want that person. But you have to realize: you’re never going to find the same person with the same attributes, but you will find someone who makes you feel the same way.”

How lovely is that? And how true.

When I used to be 22, my faculty boyfriend and I broke up as a result of he was in Michigan and I used to be in New York and neither of us might budge on shifting. My coronary heart shattered. I used to be satisfied that I’d by no means be glad once more; I imply, how might I ever love anybody else? His dimples! His sweaters! The method he’d at all times look throughout the occasion, after he made a joke, to verify I used to be laughing. But, after being crushingly unhappy for some time, I felt okay once more. Other relationships got here and went, and, a couple of years later, I met Alex. And, you’ll by no means consider it: he made me really feel the identical method. Only higher. And safer. And much more in love.

Jason, you sly genius! Thank you for sharing this perception.

Thoughts? What recommendation would you add? Have you gone by means of a breakup not too long ago — or are you going by means of one proper now? If so, I’m sending you the largest hug!!! It’s the worst!!!

P.S. A seven-step guide to heartbreak, and four things to tell a friend after a bad breakup. Also, my sister’s awesome dating tip.

(Photo from the film Someone Great.)

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